"there is a chink in the armor"

I thought myself to be sensitive and open about my feelings, but today I realize that as we go about our daily lives and interact with people on so many differing levels we are in fact making the choice of letting them into our parlour so to speak, letting them in behind the guard we have slowly built up around our hearts to keep the barrage of emotions at bay and allow us to go about our business without falling to pieves at the drop of a hat.

Then something happens

Something that is unsettling

it is like holding up an opaque object to the light only to see the sliver of light getting through
that sliver is big enough to let through those feeling that you thought you had in check

In my proffession it is imperative to maintain that water tight barrier or life will come flooding through and sweep you away.
Leaving you a wet sopping mess-of-a-person totally drained and unable to cope.

So as a nurse one of the quintiscential caring compassionate proffessions in the world it is important to maintain the hard candy coating to our hearts.
But today I realized after my work night that someone flew in under the radar... there is a chink in the armor I painstakingly erected to keep safe and protected-- this thought was both humbling and terrifying

So my friends as I head to bed after a nightshift that was both equal parts physically exhauting as well as emotionally difficult do a quick check to make sure your hearts are not vulnerable yet not too difficult to penetrate... because it is the people who find a way into your hearts that make life so rich and full--those moments of reflection and learning are so much better and the relationships you make with people every day so much more rewarding and meaningful

so as I lay me down to sleep-- hug your loved ones and be thankful for those who weaken those barriers by making us stronger

it was a marvelous night for a moondance...

** caution this post contains the word ass/a-hole.... alot....

I was fortunate enough to accompany a friend to a Van Morrison concert tonight, it was awesome... I forgot how much I love this legends music... legend=old guy who has been making music for 100 years!
It was good then the family sat down behind us.. the a-hole family
An entire row of loud mouth, drunk, whiny a-holes. Grandma in the bag at the end of the row two little ass grandsons too young to buy beer so mom and auntie-a-hole bought them beer... far to much beer...daddy ass-head drunk stumbled in next next to auntie skirt was far too short who boot legged beer for the two under aged philosophising butt munches parenting at it's best!
insert half a show worth of talking loudly bumping and spilling beer on the row in front of them... dancing sloppily and yelling at the stage both in encouragement as well tell Van what they thought of his choice of music choices... yes it was great!

The couple sitting beside us had words with them, the security "hosts" had words as did the couple next to us on the other side... finally when I was about to have worlds with family a-hole there was a brave soul sitting behind them who decided to speak up and the f-word was bandied about and how the grandson was loudly saying it was all about grandma tonight... blah blah blah how the poor guy being verbally assaulted better not effing ruin grandmas night... then he loudly stood up saying to whomever was still paying attention to them that "fine I'll leave, is this what you want? I will leave ruining grandmas night... " for being all about g-ma it was awfully a lot about him poor grandson a-hole... ran out of money for bootlegged beers?
Well our entire row gave each other high fives and settled in to enjoy the last half of the concert which by the way was amazing!
even better than the first half!
I have to admit I was wandering if it was going to be Van Morrison who stormed off, as he has been known to be a bit of a diva but it was a very good mellow un-diva like show! and to make things even more magical he sang Brown Eyed Girl right out of the gate! so it kicked off the concert on a high note! love it and highly recommend taking in one of his concerts if you are fortunate enough to be able to catch him on a good day...
and not to worry you will have a good night, I have the ability to attract odd/weird people and my friend has the ability to conjure up groups of people... so between the two of us we created a whole group of a-holes .... with great power comes great responsibility!!
all in all a fantastic night
my appologies for the frequency of the profane but there is no reasoning with drunk people let alone drunk a-holes who loudly are always right and will make things worse if they can after being asked to tone it down....
but let me tell you how I really feel... hahaha
till then always have a safe drive home folks and enjoy yourselves responsibly!

my new book has a title...

Did I mention my new inspiration? it is a book that I have picked up and thought to myself hey I could have written this... it is the book of awesome... and it is a chuckle out loud kinda feel good book. I felt kinda ripped off and in awe of the simplicity of it all.
I really could have been this author... well I am writting my newest book... the book of awkward....yes that is it's title, I have finished an entire section on personal space, and another on greetings.... so far so good... I have laughed out loud just jotting a few things down.... if it doesn't get published in paper I promise to let you all read it!

till next time, when something happens to you and you think man that was awkward or the flush of a blush from the sheer awkwardness of a moment happens write me and tell me about it and you too, yes you sitting there can be in my book :)

carry on my friends enjoy life to the last drop

ps- everyone loves a good space robot background yes?